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The Headaches That Send Me to a Dark Room

The Pattern, Hour by Hour

An episode takes my whole day. First, the warning hour: one side of my head tightens, the room's light too sharp. Then the pounding settles in and I stop answering the phone. The vomiting arrives somewhere in the middle. Afterwards I feel washed out, slow, and oddly hungry. That gap, well one day and ruined the next, is hardest to explain to people.

Headaches I Know, and Signs I Fear

These headaches are mine; I know their rhythm. Other signs would be strangers, and I will not sit at home with strangers. Sudden weakness down one side of my body. My face drooping on one side. My speech coming out strange. A headache landing at full force, worse than any of mine. A fit that does not stop. Sight suddenly disappearing, or confusion arriving out of nowhere. Any of those means hospital, or my regular doctor, that day.

I Leave My Own Prescription Completely Alone

I take one regular tablet for an unrelated problem. These headaches give me no permission to rearrange it. On bad days I do not skip it for feeling sick. On a good run of days I do not stop it either. If that tablet ever needs changing, the doctor who prescribed it will change it, after seeing me. Until then it stays exactly where it is.

Surgeons Have Their Own Corner Here

My first stop is a neurologist, and that is where my thinking ends for now. While searching, I noticed this website carries another directory, of general surgeons in Savar. I am not planning to use it. If the specialist ever points me that way, the listing is there.

Small Questions, Asked Plainly

The pain chooses one side. Should I say which?

I plan to. Left or right, fixed or swapping: details I used to think were too small. If the pattern matters, the details probably do too.

I vomit almost every time. Is that part of the story?

Part of the story. When it happens, how often, whether the pounding eases afterwards. He can decide what to make of it; my job is not to edit the episode.

Light troubles me far more than sound does. Do details like that help?

I believe so. They separate my headaches from an ordinary one. I will mention the curtains, the dark room, the phone left unanswered. That is the shape of those days.

After it passes, I feel drained for hours. Does that count too?

Yes, the washed-out hours are part of the pattern, not an afterthought. I lose that day, and half of the next one to tiredness.

My sister has watched me through two episodes. Would her account help?

She has seen what I cannot: my face, my restlessness, how long I lie still. If he wants a second pair of eyes on the pattern, hers are honest ones.

When does waiting at home turn into going right away?

When the change is sudden and not one of mine. One side weak, the face drooping, speech turning strange. A headache worse than any before, a fit that will not stop, sight suddenly gone, or sudden confusion. Then waiting ends: hospital, or my regular doctor, that same day.